Seasons Change

I was walking in the woods with two of my favorite humans today. We started coming up with cheesy sayings about life and the leaves changing color. But while I was napping in my hammock amongst these trees, I started seriously thinking about it. I am in a season of change, and I am slowly learning to embrace it.

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I’m over the halfway point of college and people are starting to expect me to know what comes next. But I don’t. I’m in this weird limbo of not quite being a kid, but not quite being an adult. All my friends are in this limbo too, so we’re a hot mess of stress and confusion.

What I can be thankful for is that we are in it together. I can’t express enough how lucky I am to have the people I do in my life. The constant encouragement (or commiseration) that I receive from my fellow students is incredible.

I am a person who hates change. But this weird limbo is slowly forcing me to embrace it. I am learning that sometimes change is good. Change is scary, but it’s making me who I am. This is the realization I had while enjoying the fall colors today.

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Over the past few months I have gone through a lot of changes. They didn’t all seem so good at the time. I began classes that made me happier and less stressed, I made some really incredible new friends in some of my classes, I also left some friends behind. I had a relationship end that taught me a lot, I moved into my first apartment and had to start doing things for myself, I improved a lot of my routines to keep me happy and healthy.

This semester has been a growing up experience for me so far. A lot of times I feel like I can’t get a grip on one thing before it hurtles by. It stresses me out beyond belief. But when I take the time to look back, I realize how far I have come.

I am happy and healthy this semester. And this is a change I am okay with.

Cheesy, but change can make a person better like seasons changing makes leaves more beautiful.

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#Awkward

I think one of the greatest qualities camp experiences gave me was confidence. If you know me, you know I am a big introvert. Being dropped in a room full of strangers in a new environment is my worst nightmare. Icebreakers and name games never fail to make me cringe because I prefer to avoid being the center of attention at all costs.

That has all changed a little since being a camp kid for so long (mostly thanks to student council camp). I still cringe at the idea of name games, but I don’t loathe them so much anymore. I am more bold about meeting new people and starting fresh relationships. I learned that if you just embrace the awkward, it’s not so bad.

College has been an endless void of awkward experiences. Some that have happened recently (inspiration for this post). I’ve tried to work on changing my perspective though. Instead of being painfully embarrassed or uncomfortable, I figure I might as well take it in stride and learn from it.

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I once had an interview where they asked me to write a hashtag that describes me on a whiteboard in the room. When I stood up to walk over to the board and turn around to the line of people sitting across the conference table from me, I should have wanted to hide. Instead, I picked up the marker and wrote “#awkward.” The perfect description of myself. I went on to discuss how I always find myself in awkward situations, but that’s where I have done the most growing. I got called back for another round.

Being in camp-like situations, including news classes or project groups, where you have to build some bonds with total strangers is really an excellent opportunity for personal development. You get the opportunity to learn about yourself. It also shows you where you have room for improvement.

We often fail to realize where the uncomfortable experiences in life are making us better people. Sometimes it takes being forced out of your comfort zone to have an experience that causes you to grow.

A lifetime full of awkward moments is why I am the person I am today. Embarrassing accidents, uncomfortable dates, and failed conversations all add up. We just don’t always realize it. Human beings are awkward creations, but it’s each person’s awkward that makes them unique and builds their confidence.

So, embrace it.

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Gucci Bars

So lately I have been missing Kanakuk dessert a LOT. When you work in the kitchen you have a love hate relationship with camp food. But never ever Gucci Bars. There could never be any dislike for them. This chocolate and caramel dessert was the highlight of my week and there was never enough to go around. So, I decided to give them a shot.

Ingredients:

  • 2 c. oats
  • 1 1/2 c. flour
  • 1 1/2 c. brown sugar
  •  1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 c. butter
  • 10 oz. caramel
  • 1 c. chocolate chips

The process:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
  2. Soften the butter
  3. Mix the oats, brown sugar, salt, baking soda, butter, and flour togetherimg_1453
  4. Spread 2/3 of the mixture in a 9×11 pan and press it down
  5. Spread the caramel over this “crust”IMG_1454.JPG
  6. Add a layer of chocolate chips
  7. Add the remaining 1/3 of the mixture to the topIMG_1455.JPG
  8. Bake for 20-25 minutes
  9. Let stand in the refrigerator for about an hourIMG_1456.JPG
  10. Cut in and enjoy

These bars are SUPER rich and go best with a glass of milk. The company of a good friend is also suggested.

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Recipe courtesy of Kanakuk Kamps

My Happy Place

This past weekend my sorority took a trip down to Lake of the Ozarks for a sisterhood retreat. We got to our house at 5:15 am to take school buses to the retreat center. Everyone was a little tired, but spirits perked up once we saw the lake.

The weekend was full of some group activities, high/low ropes team building, and plenty of free time to build relationships and relax with friends. A lot of girls complained about no cell service and nothing to do (they weren’t nature fans). I, however, LOVED the weekend unplugged and outdoors. I had come off a crazy busy week and needed the break. I got to know a lot of my friends better and make some new friends as well. The lake was beautiful and peaceful. The hikes and walks were refreshing. It’s not often I get to sit on a dock and watch the sunset, enjoy the stars (all of them) around a campfire, and watch the sun rise the next morning. I got to just appreciate what life has given me and the people in it.

The really unique thing was that this is the camp where I have grown up. With my old church, we used to go down about every other year in elementary school for Girls in Action retreats. Then, starting in 8th grade, I have spent a week of every summer there with my current church’s youth group. This camp is the inspiration for a lot of my blog posts and the place where I would say I have done the most growing. Some of my happiest memories come from sunny days at the lodge on the lake with my best friends. Some of my most painful memories come from here too. Moments when I was convicted of where my life was and where it needed to go. I made my best friends here, got to know the three guys I’ve dated here, and watched my little sister do a lot of growing up here. This camp is like my sacred bubble where I learn about myself and how I fit in to the grand scheme of things.

It was really weird to be here with new people and not my church. So many memories flooded back, and it was hard not to want that experience of summer camp. I missed it this year to go to Kanakuk, and being back made me miss the people and the experience dearly. I finally shifted my mindset to realize this was an opportunity to make new memories and learn new things. I can’t be a kid forever, and the meaning of camp is going to evolve for me. It was really sad to have this realization.

However, it was amazing to capitalize on a weekend away and take time to appreciate the people who are in my life nowadays. I am truly blessed by the college chapter of my life. This was a helpful reminder to slow down in the chaos and take time to appreciate what I have and where I’m headed. It was also a time to remember where I came from and how grateful I should be for the journey.

So, below is a photo gallery of the weekend. There is a super cheesy video to accompany it. I hope it relays just how fun the people in my life are and how lucky I am to have them.