My Happy Place

October 7, 20161 Comment

This past weekend my sorority took a trip down to Lake of the Ozarks for a sisterhood retreat. We got to our house at 5:15 am to take school buses to the retreat center. Everyone was a little tired, but spirits perked up once we saw the lake.

The weekend was full of some group activities, high/low ropes team building, and plenty of free time to build relationships and relax with friends. A lot of girls complained about no cell service and nothing to do (they weren’t nature fans). I, however, LOVED the weekend unplugged and outdoors. I had come off a crazy busy week and needed the break. I got to know a lot of my friends better and make some new friends as well. The lake was beautiful and peaceful. The hikes and walks were refreshing. It’s not often I get to sit on a dock and watch the sunset, enjoy the stars (all of them) around a campfire, and watch the sun rise the next morning. I got to just appreciate what life has given me and the people in it.

The really unique thing was that this is the camp where I have grown up. With my old church, we used to go down about every other year in elementary school for Girls in Action retreats. Then, starting in 8th grade, I have spent a week of every summer there with my current church’s youth group. This camp is the inspiration for a lot of my blog posts and the place where I would say I have done the most growing. Some of my happiest memories come from sunny days at the lodge on the lake with my best friends. Some of my most painful memories come from here too. Moments when I was convicted of where my life was and where it needed to go. I made my best friends here, got to know the three guys I’ve dated here, and watched my little sister do a lot of growing up here. This camp is like my sacred bubble where I learn about myself and how I fit in to the grand scheme of things.

It was really weird to be here with new people and not my church. So many memories flooded back, and it was hard not to want that experience of summer camp. I missed it this year to go to Kanakuk, and being back made me miss the people and the experience dearly. I finally shifted my mindset to realize this was an opportunity to make new memories and learn new things. I can’t be a kid forever, and the meaning of camp is going to evolve for me. It was really sad to have this realization.

However, it was amazing to capitalize on a weekend away and take time to appreciate the people who are in my life nowadays. I am truly blessed by the college chapter of my life. This was a helpful reminder to slow down in the chaos and take time to appreciate what I have and where I’m headed. It was also a time to remember where I came from and how grateful I should be for the journey.

So, below is a photo gallery of the weekend. There is a super cheesy video to accompany it. I hope it relays just how fun the people in my life are and how lucky I am to have them.

Retreat

September 30, 2016Leave a comment

It’s about that time of year that many college organizations start going on group retreats. These can be some of the best relationship building activities. Quality time not engaged with normal daily activities is the best way to work on connections.

Veritas Fall Retreat 2015

My favorite thing about retreats is the fact that they often are in places where cell service and internet are out of reach. It forces you to unplug and remember what it’s like to just be you. I think society forces a lot of things on us. Technology encroaches on our lives to the point we feel like we can’t be away from our messages and email for more than an hour. I’ve even seen Snapchat streaks consume people’s lives. Society needs to practice being unplugged.

I think we need to spend more time away from technology. More time just appreciating life and the people in it. This can mean rearranging schedules and priorities, but I think our personal time should be priority. Quick messages are great, but can quickly consume.

MASC Winter Energizer 2013

I am writing this post as I prepare to go on retreat in the morning. I get to go to my favorite camp with all of my sorority sisters, and I can’t wait to unplug. There’s no cell service, so it’s a forced unplug. I think spending time with these girls without our phones will be really rewarding.

Retreats are a way to rejuvenate yourself at a midpoint in the semester or the year. We lose stamina, and we have to build that back up. Taking a weekend break is often the best way to do that. It scares me to death to set all my school work and extracurriculars aside, but I’m also crazy excited. I am stressed, busy, and beaten down. This semester has been better than last in a lot of ways, but also worse in many. It kind of sounds like running away from your problems, but sometimes putting them on pause and reassessing is really the best way.

Ignite Retreat 2014

So you can’t go on a retreat? That’s okay. Find another way to unplug. Take time for yourself and to spend time with the people around you. You may discover things about people that you never knew, and you may love them so much more for that.

Technology seems like an integral part of life, but it isn’t. People are.

Point Of View

September 24, 2016Leave a comment

Camp offers the time and space to stop and change your point of view. Your perspective. Removing yourself from everyday life and taking a break lets you stop and evaluate. We all get so caught up in the crazy schedules we create that we often forget to just stop and shift our point of view on a regular basis outside of this kind of setting.

My great-grandmother passed away this past spring. She would be 99 years old soon. I often wonder what it would be like to have her perspective. Being retired and just enjoying family, it probably allows for a lot of retrospective learning. My grandma lived such a long and joyful life, I imagine she looked back and had few regrets. She was surrounded by children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren who loved her dearly. Her big Irish family took care of her and always checked in. Unfortunately, my grandma’s mind was not what it used to be when she was near the end of her life, so I could never ask her about this. But wow, would 99 years of life be something great to look back on.

The thing is, we can’t all wait until the end of our lives to look back and learn. We have to remember that life isn’t about the craziness. Life is about people and moments. It’s about taking time to appreciate those things. Too often we forget this. Our society is one of busy bodies that need to constantly be doing something. We stuff our time outside of school/work with sports, clubs, concerts, gatherings and so much more. This past week I barely had time to breathe between all the appointments and study hours I had to fit in. That’s not okay.

I like to make it a goal of mine to take some time to stop and reflect. To stop and learn. And sometimes that is so very hard. We often don’t give ourselves enough time to sit in our own thoughts, uninterrupted. This is the space in which we learn the most about ourselves and life. This is where we grow.

We are all so focused on the next step, high school to college to a career to a family to retirement that I don’t think we know what to do when we make it through them all. We need to stop hurrying through life and enjoy the small time we have. God gave us people here to love and experiences to shape us, so we need to allow the love and growth.

I am an introspective person. It’s part of being an introvert. I need that time for myself, but I am often so consumed by my busy schedule that it becomes what I think about in my quiet moments.

Here is my challenge (to myself and others): Take 10 minutes each day. Sit alone and in the silence. Think about the happy memories of the day. Think about the hard moments and what you can learn from them. Think about the people you are grateful for and what they’re doing in your life.

I think if more people took time to do this we would have a less stressed and more joyful world. We are often told to get our priorities straight, usually insinuating work or school. I think personal reflection and the people in our lives should be our priorities. So, get your priorities straight. Love yourself and others the way we were intended to do.

Mindfulness for the Season

September 17, 2016Leave a comment

September 12th was Mindfulness Day. How exciting that there’s a day for one of my favorite topics! I’ve mentioned before how important I’ve found this topic because of time spend working on it at camps. I haven’t talked about my healthy habits for this semester much yet. I want to let you know how I’m adjusting my mindfulness practices for a new school year and season of life.

I was beyond stressed last semester. I could barely function, so healthy habits were important to find time for in my life. I am far less stressed and busy this year (so far). It’s been easy to push healthy mental habits to the side because of that. Honestly, I use my free time to watch a lot of Private Practice. This definitely doesn’t help me stay organized and stay refreshed mentally and spiritually.

I have some things in the works that I’m working on making habits and not just sporadic behaviors. First, I’m getting back to my bullet journal. I quite using it during the summer because I was at camp and just didn’t have a lot to keep track of. Getting back to the daily planning and reflection has been hard since then. I’ve made my design a bit more simplistic and also gave my calendar more space in order to better chart my many activities.

September in my journal before the onslaught of events being listed.

I am also working on setting times to dedicate to friends. Coffee dates, lunches, movie nights, etc. I am working on intentionally building relationships in order to make me better and also be a better friend. People are important in life, so I want to make sure that shows in how I spend my time.

Kayaking at Finger Lakes State Park.

Cleaning time is a new one. This sounds icky, and I’m not a big fan of cleaning. But, clean living space means clean head space. A cluttered room can often leave your mind cluttered. I am working really hard to keep my room organized and my desk empty of junk. I also do general cleaning more often. Organizing my room daily is making my space more enjoyable to be in and easier to do homework in.

This year I have room to have my cello with me at school. For me, making music has always been far more of a stress relief than listening to music. I think music is so important in life. I’m making more effort to use free time to release my emotions through my music. Even if you aren’t a musician, set aside time to find new music to listen to or time to go see some live music. Music is just plain good for the soul.

Hillsong United’s Empires Tour in July.

One I’ve been really terrible about implementing is photography. I think it’s great to capture moments and memories with friends, yet my camera has sat dormant for a couple of weeks. I also really love editing photos, but that’s the journalism major side of me finding that relaxing. I need to collect more beautiful photos for my walls. Creating a room full of good memories can give you the right mindset to regularly go out and make new memories.

Table Rock Lake from a July trip.

Mindfulness is defined by Google as, “a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.” Or, “the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.” I like to view it as being in tune with your feelings and habits and focusing in on them to achieve a happier lifestyle. I don’t practice mindfulness meditation, which is a real thing, but rather try to be mindful of my thoughts and actions.

When you focus on positive living, you lead a more positive life. It helps you feel better, helps people around you feel better, and allows you to achieve more. The better you feel, the better you perform. Little habits can make for big differences.

So celebrate mindfulness with the rest of the world and make some positive changes in your life!

Firm Foundations

September 10, 2016Leave a comment

They don’t tell you this when you’re little, but a lot of the purpose of camp is to help you build firm foundations for your life. The goal is to give you the tools to grow into a stellar person, and to have some people who will help you get there.

You can’t build any structure without a foundation. That’s common sense. The same goes for building yourself as a person. There must be solid ground that will last a long time in order for you to grow. This usually means good morals, goals for life, strong character, and many other tools.

Most of what adults do while you’re growing up is secretly shaping you into a better person, secretly preparing you to be an adult. It’s a hidden instinct humans have. We want to make each other better humans without even realizing it sometimes.

Camps, retreats, clubs, and so many other activities are just more obvious ways to try to make other people into better humans. To give them firm foundations.

Something people don’t teach you is that along the way, you build other people into that foundation. It’s not always purposeful, but sometimes it is. Your family is usually purposefully in that foundation. Often a best friend or a few make the foundation as well. The question is, can you really allow yourself to build people into your foundation?

During my time at camp this summer, I had a friend talk to me about building people into foundations. She made me think about relationships in a way I never have, and probably should have before. She told me you can’t build people into your foundation. People aren’t as dependable.

Now in the context of Christianity, Christ should be the firm foundation. This is what she was reminding me of. Was Christ really my foundation? A tough question for anyone to answer.

But, I don’t think it’s totally true that people shouldn’t be built in our foundations. I have been reflecting on this for several months now. We have been given other people to do life with, so why shouldn’t we depend on them every now and then? People can push you to build better foundations.

There’s one thing that’s right though. It’s something I’ve learned the hard way. You have to be careful who you allow to be built into your foundation.

Family is always a good answer to who is right or wrong to build yourself up on. Family loves you relentlessly and won’t leave you. Family will push you to be a better person and help strengthen your foundation.

Friends are harder to think about. Even best friends don’t stay best friends a lot of the time. Friends come and go as seasons of life change. This can be hard when looking for people to support you through life. But I think it’s important to have friends in your foundation. However, going along with the building metaphor, it’s important to decide how much weight you allow them to support. You have to judge which friends are in your life for a season, and which are there to walk the whole way.

We all make mistakes. We all put too much weight on certain people sometimes. We all get let down. We all let people down. Here’s the best thing though: we get to rebuild. It may be hard. Our foundations may have some cracks or holes for a while, but that can be fixed. Other people are there just waiting to help you fill it back in.

That’s where I’m at right now. Seasons of life are changing, and I’m growing up. There are several people who I have realized have worked their way out of my foundation. And that’s a hard realization. But it’s also incredible to see who has stuck around to hold me up. I am so very grateful for my family and the others who have stuck around.

In life, other people are going to give you the tools to build a stronger foundation for yourself. And it’s okay to build them in every once in a while too. Other people are placed in your life for a reason, so let them make you a better person, and help them out some too.

Keeping Connections

September 3, 2016November 11, 2016Leave a comment

When you’re put in situations like attending camp, it’s easy to make friends fast. Everyone comes ready to meet new people and find people to cling to for the short time you’re there. The relationships grow deep fast. The atmosphere is built for these quality friendships to happen.

The real trick to this is maintaining these friendships once you leave the camp atmosphere. Years of camp has taught me a lot about how to intentionally foster friendships, because once you let go they’re usually gone.

A lot of times these relationships end up being with people who live nowhere near you. Long distance relationships stink. Friendships included. You meet spectacular people who you have a lot in common with. But, unless you take time to make an effort to maintain it, the distance drives that connection apart.

More often than not, my camp friendships turned into Facebook likes and comments rather than meaningful conversations over the phone or Skype. However, there are a few that I’ve kept close to my heart rather than on my social media.

The key, I’ve found, is remembering that it’s a two-way effort. You have to remember that it takes both people reaching out to initiate conversation. Take time out of the day to send a quick hello over text, set up a time to talk over the phone, or write a meaningful letter.

Keep up to date on what’s going on in their lives. Know what their triumphs and trials are, and walk with them through that. Sometimes distance makes it easier to be a good support because you’re removed and have a good perspective. It’s helpful when asked for advice.

Not knowing everyone in their life can also be a good way to get to know your friend better. Ask them about the people they’ve mentioned or the ones in their photos. The way they talk about the people in their lives says a lot about them.

Find a time to hang out. This can be the hard one. Invite them to visit, or make the effort to go visit them. Get to know they place they call home. It’s important to take turns when you do this. Share the travel expenses. But make a point to do so to get some quality time in face to face.

I’ve seen successes and failures with this. Though, as many times as I have failed to maintain a truly solid friendship, I have been beyond blessed with the ones I have kept.

Sometimes your camp friends from across the state end up at the same school as you, and become your sorority sister and one of the best friends you’ll ever have.

Beautiful Twists and Turns

July 7, 2016Leave a comment

I have been back from camp for a few weeks now. I spent about a month there serving some amazing kiddos and serving my God. I have so many things I could write about that I learned in my time there, but right now I want to talk about how sometimes the incredible things in life come when your plans don’t work the way you want.

I’m going to tell you about how I cleaned toilets for a few weeks and loved it.

I never planned to end up at the camp I did for a large portion of my summer. I had wanted an internship that I didn’t end up getting. It wasn’t even the first camp I applied to. I knew I wanted to serve kids and serve God in some capacity, and I have a heart for camp. I ended up choosing Kanakuk over others. However, I had my heart set on being a counselor. The position I was offered was that of a kitchie. Still, I would get to work with kids and it worked with my summer schedule better based off the terms I was offered.

So, what’s a kitchie? All I knew going into it was that they are girls that serve in the dining hall but are still assigned a cabin of campers to hang out with. No one told me what kind of crazy work it would end up being. Kitchie means early mornings prepping breakfast before the rest of camp is awake. It means prepping the dining hall for every meal, serving two meals at each meal time for 600 people, and cleaning up every meal and the entire dining hall. We were lucky to get a couple of hours off in the afternoon, and what time we were done at night depended how messy dinner dishes were. The kitchies are like a finely tuned army of cleaning girls. We didn’t cook, but oh did we clean. I learned really quickly to get over the gross things, work to keep a positive attitude, and rejoice in the little victories like a new shipment of peanut butter.

The kitchies are all college aged girls who live together and work together. That’s a lot of time together. Girls form cliques and have arguments. It’s expected when you spend so much time so close together. My first week or so at camp, I was not enjoying it. I am an introvert and wasn’t putting myself out there to build good relationships. My expectations for camp were not being met.

A few weeks in the job of mutt maid was handed out to four select kitchies. This job was given to girls with high integrity, good maturity, excellent work ethic, and a positive attitude. Sounds cool, right? I earned this title. What did it mean? It meant every other day I got to clean all the public toilets on camp. Camp toilets are disgusting.

I was disheartened at this point. I felt like I wasn’t much use at camp. I felt like I could be used in better ways. I wanted to spend more time with kids. I wanted to go home.

That’s when God blew my mind.

I was too caught up in my plans to see what God was doing in me. He had placed me as a kitchie at Kanakuk for a reason.

I fell in love with my cabin of 13 year olds (the youngest at camp) that I got to have discussion and prayer with every night. They loved to come find me at meals and talk to me during the day. I was blessed to be able to tuck them in and pray with them every night.

I got to be an influence on other kitchies who were experiencing tough times in their lives. The campers aren’t the only ones who come to camp needing some love and to find rest in God.

I also went to camp broken. I made some really good friends who helped me to heal and to work through big decisions in my life. They are friends I know I can rely on for a lifetime to point me towards Christ. We went on many adventures together that I will never forget.

God humbled me. I struggle daily with pride. I believe I can do it on my own. I can’t. Giving me a kitchie and mutt maid position helped me to realize that work needs to be done to serve God and someone has to do the not so fun jobs too. Plus, it’s easy to find ways to have fun no matter what you’re doing at camp.

My favorite saying: Not all work is glorious, but all work glorifies God.

Camp also gave me space to heal and grow. It gave me goals to come home with and directions I need to move. It gave me clarity and peace. And it gave me a support system that really knows my heart, because you’re most honest and transparent at camp.

This is just the beginning of positive things that came out of my time at Kanakuk. I ended up loving my experience. Sure, work was physically and mentally challenging most days. I love a good challenge. God placed it there for me to embrace. Sometimes it takes some space to clear your mind and see what God is doing in your life and how you are being used to touch others.

Life isn’t going to go the way you want it to. Good. You learn and grow more when it goes God’s way. Be patient and thank Him for the twists and turns.

Proverbs 27:1, James 4:13-16

Preparing for Camp

May 19, 2016Leave a comment

One week from now I will be working at a Christian summer camp for about a month. I could not be more excited, but am also extremely nervous.

I know this camp does incredible things and changes kids’ lives. I am so ready to be a part of that. I love spending my time helping students grow as people and in their relationships with Christ. I am also ready to meet some other college kids who are passionate about serving and loving on some kiddos. I can’t wait to build some incredible friendships. I am also excited to grow in my own relationship with Christ. Some time disconnected from everything and focused on camp is much needed after the semester I had.

However, I am also apprehensive. This is a totally new experience. Many of the college students who staff the camps have been going since they were campers themselves. I am nervous about trying to learn everything and find my place. New experiences are always a bittersweet excitement. Being gone so long is also going to be new. I have never gone so long away at camp and unable to talk to my family and friends. I know it will be a good opportunity to re-center some of my priorities and thoughts, but I will miss them dearly.

In the end, the excitement outweighs the apprehension.

As I am prepping for camp, I am praying a lot for the time to come. It’s important to be in the right mindset when my actions will be impacting young lives I will be spending time with. Here’s how I’ll be praying and how you can join me:

For the kids:
- That they will come in with open hearts
- That they will meet Jesus
- That they will build friendships that last a lifetime
- That they will find peace they may not find at home
- That they will find rest and be ready to go back to busy lives at home
For the staff:
- That we will be flexible
- That we will allow God to speak through us
- That we will pour into each other so we can pour into the campers
- That we will also meet Jesus and grow in Him
- That we will build relationships that push us toward Christ continuously
- That we will overcome tiredness and serve with our full hearts

This is my last blog before camp, but I can’t wait to share what a month at camp is like and all of the incredible things I learn.

People Take You Places

April 22, 2016Leave a comment

One of the most important things I have learned is that camp doesn’t happen without other people. It’s not a solitary activity. All the fun, growth, reflection, and everything else cannot happen unless you have people doing it alongside you. Sure, you can do those things all by yourself. But, the camp setting proves that the results are magnified when you’re doing it with other people.

I believe that you learn best from other people. Something that someone else says or does often sparks a new thought inside of you. This is a cycle. That’s why student council camp was so effective for me. You can’t learn leadership qualities without people to lead you and without people to lead. At church camp, spiritual growth happens by learning from others’ stories and talking through life with them.

I feel it is extremely important to keep this mindset year round. The past few weeks I have been extremely busy and often try to spend any free time I have taking some time for myself. I am a firm believer in personal time to keep your mind healthy. However, I realized once I got a free weekend that I was continuing to be stressed because I hadn’t been spending enough time with other people.

My friends forced me to take some time off and go hiking and hammocking with them. They got my mind off of everything. We just sat in peace and talked about life. I always stress how great it is to foster relationships, but I sometimes forget to maintain those myself.

Without people I get caught up in my head. I get concerned with my successes and failures, when my biggest failure is actually missing out on time with the people I love. This past week was a good reminder that people make me happy and help me get through life. Life is a team effort. We need others to grow and learn, but also to keep us focused on enjoying life as we go.

Don’t take the people who love you for granted.

Life is Like Camp

Forrest Gump said that life is like a box of chocolates, but I think it's a whole lot like camp.

Tag: relationships